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Unexpected red theory

Without me here, this would all be unseen. Or if seen, undocumented. Or if documented, then not shared. If shared, then not by me. That’s what I tell myself when I sometimes feel like I’m not supposed to be here. That I should have left back then, and that the reason I struggle so hard …

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Give me things that don’t get lost

Mallorca 2019.I don’t remember the how or why, but I guess I had some time off and booked a short vacation, no more than an extended weekend, for myself.I enjoyed my solitude back then as I do now, but I do remember feeling somewhat lonely on this trip. Sitting in a bar texting my girlfriends, …

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 κάθαρσις

It’s august 28th 2023 and I’m reading a letter from the MRI clinic I recently went to, and the medical German it’s written in is really difficult to understand and I’m in the middle of a workout so I’ll translate it later.I return to my workout but then I stop and go back to the …

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Let me be medicine

There’s something good, something healthy, about doing one of these end of the year type posts, that i hadn’t really thought of until i started working on it over Christmas in Denmark. Even though it’s a lot of work and turns out messy and what’s the point even, and ugh, it forces you to really …

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May 2004 – September 2021

From the iPhone journal: The passage of time feels insulting. I want so badly for it to go backwards, but it keeps rushing forward. Away from you.Away from the time you were here, existing physically.It’s almost as if it doesn’t even give a damn about how much I need to be with you again. I don’t …

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You can always come home

Today on the train that song came up on my Spotify. The one I was listening to on repeat in the months after we broke up. After we broke up for real, that is, if we ever really did.  I listened to it, and while I listened, I looked down and realized that I was …

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One path to follow

No, no, don’t worry, it’s not a 2020 retrospect post.Or maybe you’d enjoy one of those, actually i would too, but this ain’t it!But you know how i love to sneak in one last post at the end of the year, especially as i sit here, reflecting on how different my New Years Eve was …

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Saudade

From the future self journal: “It’s still early morning at the house and i can tell it’s gonna be a warm day. It already is. It’s spring. I can hear the birds singing and there’s a lazy gray cat on my bed. She hears them too. Soft light is flooding the bed from the large …

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With every heartbeat

Oh hello and welcome back! To the first blog post at least partially written, but the second one posted, in WordPress. Transitioning to this new format was very weird for me. But, good weird? A new beginning for my untitled blog!You’ll noticed that captions are below the pictures now, like they have been on every …

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