From the iPhone journal:

The passage of time feels insulting. 
I want so badly for it to go backwards, but it keeps rushing forward. Away from you.
Away from the time you were here, existing physically.
It’s almost as if it doesn’t even give a damn about how much I need to be with you again.

I don’t know how to begin to describe our life together. 17 years. A lifetime. My constant partner through everything.
I probably never will.
And i’m not ready to talk about how it felt to lose you, and you know what, i don’t think i’ll ever be ready for that either. Maybe no words are needed this time. Maybe i knew and he knew and so did everyone else, and the rest can be just mine.

My Lucifer.
He was so loved. You are so loved.