Without me here, this would all be unseen. Or if seen, undocumented. Or if documented, then not shared. If shared, then not by me. That’s what I tell myself when I sometimes feel like I’m not supposed to be here. That I should have left back then, and that the reason I struggle so hard …
Tag: Travel
Give me things that don’t get lost
Mallorca 2019.I don’t remember the how or why, but I guess I had some time off and booked a short vacation, no more than an extended weekend, for myself.I enjoyed my solitude back then as I do now, but I do remember feeling somewhat lonely on this trip. Sitting in a bar texting my girlfriends, …
Pre-dystopia
The world is a very different place than it was when i wrote my last post, isn’t it? We all woke up in a new reality the day after the election. I had tried to stay awake and failed, but i could hear the news anchors talking as i fell in and out of sleep, …
Postcards from the recent past
Today i woke up early, feeling less hungover than i should have considering my Saturday night, so i started editing photos on my old Dell laptop, that only ever comes out of retirement for that very purpose. I then did a 30 minute workout with my flatmate, who also had a late night. Then i …
The next adventure
As i’m writing this i’m in bed drinking coffee, but next to me on the floor is an open, still unpacked suitcase and a boarding pass with today’s date on it. What i’m trying to say, is that this will be a quick one. A couple of months ago we were sitting outside of a …
The measure of all things
From the iPhone journal: Kindness It’s the first thing to go in a relationship that’s in trouble. Once you stop doing the little things just because doing something for each other brings you joy, once you start counting favors, keeping track, that’s when you know. Sometimes you don’t see it until it’s too late, and …
Whitechapel
If someone were to ask me what 2015 has been like so far, i wouldn’t know what to say yet. So much happened, so many conflicting feelings, so much joy and so much confusion. Like, how do you even begin to describe something that big? It’s like describing the ocean or the person you love. …
Stories from the past, adventures in the present
I don’t know the exact moment my severe anxiety disorder disappeared, but i think it may have been the morning of January 15th last year. I’d gotten up early in the morning for an appointment at a hospital i’d never been to before, and i was going there alone. It was only a few weeks …
Backup dreams
From the iPhone journal, a while back: This morning i had a weird realization. I’m at a place in my life where i’ve already had everything most of the people around me are working towards. The marriage, the house, the business. A car. Not the babies, obviously, but the possibility of family nonetheless. Stability. Had …
Vienna
From the iPhone journal: I no longer have an emotional anchor. A person to mirror me, to justify my existence and individuality. This is being alone. It’s weird and even shocking to me sometimes, being truly alone. Not even having family nearby. But it’s not all bad, i guess. Anchors can drag you down. Here …