I wrote this a few weeks into my trip, while i was unable to blog, but still needed to write and remember.
It’s written over some time on my phone, so i apologize if it’s not the most eloquent writing.
But i guess you’re not used to that anyway, being a reader of this messy blog!
So here you go, another part of my travel journal…


“I guess it’s about time I explained how i ended up in Mexico…


I haven’t been very open about my personal life since the breakup.
I wrote that one post, which didn’t really reveal much, and it’s been hard to find the right balance since then.
Divorce can get messy, and i’ve tried my best to not involve anyone but my closest friends in the details. 
A lot of people had a hard time seeing me and my husband as two separate individuals, and there’s been lots of awkward moments with people who think we’re still together, or just temporarily separated, and i still sometimes get emails and comments from well meaning people saying “aaww, i hope you’re ok”, but the truth is that even though we’re still legally married, it’s very much over and has been for a long time.
He’s been in a relationship for pretty much the entire time we’ve been broken up, and while it may have taken me a bit longer to move on, i did eventually meet someone.
See where this is going? 
A Mexican someone, yes. 


I was alone for a long time, but then i met this guy, and at least partially thanks to him, and of course my amazing friends, i had the best summer… ever? 
I can’t remember having this much fun in a long time, probably not since i was a kid, wearing baggy pants, going to raves, or getting into trouble with my friends.


It was fun, but as with any relationship, there was frustration too, of course, but it was the kind of relationship i needed after all these years; unpredictable, irrational, occasionally dramatic.
Part of the frustration was the fact that he didn’t live in Berlin, and although he kept extending his stay, we always had an expiration date, a “temporary” label that was hard to ignore. 
It was something that made it impossible to fully commit to being an actual couple, even though we both may have wanted to at the time.


When he eventually left, i assumed that was it. 
But we kept talking every day, and he kept asking me to visit and even though it was just a shared fantasy, i still started saving up, selling my stuff, reading about Mexico, and quietly planning. 
I didn’t know if the trip was ever gonna happen, but my living situation was almost unbearable, and apartment hunting seemed futile, so i needed something to look forward to, even a fictitious something that might never happen. And for the longest time, i thought it wouldn’t.
But one day i’d finally saved enough money to actually buy the ticket, and so i did. 


Buying that ticket is one of the scariest things i’ve ever done, and the whole process ended up taking days, but something told me it was supposed to happen. 
I’d always wanted to go to Mexico City, and all of a sudden i had a reason, a place to stay, and someone to show me the city i’d been dreaming about for so long. 
So that’s how i ended up here, in this crazy amazing dream world i’ve been living in for the past weeks. 
A world of endless good food, total chaos, new experiences, a new family, and so much beauty it’s hard to take it all in. 
It took me a few days to fall in love with the city, maybe because it was so weird being with him again, but when i fell, i fell pretty hard.
Something about this place appeals to me in a way that European cities just don’t.
Maybe it’s the colors? The weather?
I can’t get enough of it, its sights and smells and sounds.


I’ll probably never know if this was an amazing idea or the worst ever, and i may end up regretting a bunch when it’s all over, as one often does when there are feelings involved, but i never would have gotten to this place if things hadn’t happened the way they did, so i’m grateful for the way things turned out.

And that’s the very short version of how i ended up in Mexico City!
You never just never know what’s next.”